Should we talk about money before tying the knot? 

Getting married, is like entering into a lifetime partnership. Having open and honest communication about finances from the onset is crucial for building a strong foundation for a future together.

However, we all know that financial disagreements cause a lot of marital stress, sometimes to the point of separation or divorce. This can be avoided by having open and honest discussions about money.

Having these conversations is essential, and here are some reasons why:

1. Understanding each other’s financial habits

Just like our personalities, our financial habits are shaped by a lot of things – family upbringing, experiences, values, personal worldview, etc. Some like to save. Some like to splurge. Some are somewhere in between. By understanding habits in a natural and practical way, couples can gain insight into each other’s spending patterns and expectations. Asking simple questions: “What’s something you don’t mind splurging on?”, “How do you usually budget for fun activities?”, or “Do you like using cash, credit, or digital payments? Why?”. These can help ease into deeper financial discussions naturally.

2. Avoiding unpleasant surprises

We don’t want many surprises especially when it comes to money. Lifestyle inflation, unexpected job loss, or costly medical emergencies can strain a relationship if unprepared. One commonly overlooked topic is financial support for immediately family such as parents, grandparents, or siblings. By discussing potential financial challenges and planning ahead, couples can set up emergency funds, insurance, and savings strategies to minimize stress and disagreements.

3. Planning for major life expenses

It all starts with the wedding. How much should you spend for your dream celebration? For Catholics or Christian couples attending pre-wedding seminars, discussions on family roles, finances, communication and conflict resolution can be insightful. Later on, you will consider buying a home, starting a family, etc. Avert future conflicts with regular planning. Allocating funds wisely, discussing priorities, and ensuring that you are financially in sync is a vital part of the major decision-making process.

4. Managing income disparities and debt

When one partner earns significantly more or has substantial debt, financial tension may arise. Couples should work together to develop an equitable and practical financial plan, such as using a proportional contribution framework—where each partner contributes to expenses based on their income level—or developing a strategy to pay off debts together. Open discussions help prevent resentment and ensure both partners feel financially secure.

5. Deciding on a financial management system

Couples can agree on whether to merge finances, keep separate accounts, or use a hybrid approach. Joint budgeting helps establish clear expectations for monthly expenses, savings, and discretionary spending. Setting short-term and long-term financial goals together fosters teamwork and strengthens the relationship.

6. Preparing for the unexpected

Unexpected costly medical emergencies, home or car repairs can put pressure on marriages. Establishing an emergency fund early on and securing appropriate insurance coverage can help. Open communication and proactive planning can help minimize stress and improve mutual understanding.

7. Discussing prenuptial agreements

Prenuptial agreements can be a sensitive topic. Not many Filipinos bring up the subject because of cultural or religious beliefs about marriage. However, framing it as a responsible and practical financial discussion rather than an issue of trust can make the process easier. Prenups can clarify financial rights, protect assets, and ensure fairness in case of unforeseen circumstances. It is a good idea to consult a lawyer or financial advisor together so you can make informed decisions.

Practical tips for discussing money

It need not be complicated. Here are some practical ways to start:

• Start with simple questions – Ease into the discussion with light questions about spending habits and financial preferences.
• Make it a team effort – Approach financial planning as partners, not competitors.
• Be honest and non-judgmental – Transparency about income, debt, and financial goals fosters trust.
• Educate each other – Share financial resources, attend workshops, or consult professionals together.
• Set clear goals and expectations – Define a joint budget, agree on savings strategies, and outline a plan for big expenses.
• Prepare for emergencies – Establish an emergency fund, consider insurance, and plan for financial uncertainties.
• Celebrate milestones – Acknowledge financial achievements, big or small, to keep motivation high and maintain a positive outlook.
• Good stewardship – Manage finances responsibly as a couple, recognizing that financial stability is a shared responsibility for long-term success.
• Balance love and logic – Be forgiving, learn from mistakes, and celebrate financial milestones together.

Talking about money before marriage may feel unnatural and unnecessary. But now you know it is crucial to building a successful partnership.

(If you wish to know more about how to make financial planning work for you and your loved ones, please consult your relationship manager or trust account manager. Not yet a client? Please sign up here or go to any Metrobank branch.)

JENNY BAYLON is the Head of the Account Management Department at Metrobank Trust Banking Group, where she handles private wealth clients. Previously, she served as the Personal Trust Business Lead. Before joining Metrobank, she was a Senior Relationship Manager in wealth management for both local and offshore banks. In addition, she has extensive experience as a life insurance planner. She is also a certified trust professional and associate estate planner.